[fanfic] Love songs saga: 01 Love song
Jan. 10th, 2011 04:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raiu_deluxeThis is the first part of my new fanfiction project based on ayumi hamasaki's new album 'Love songs'. Its 15 short fics based on the songs and the PVs from the album.
Title: Love song
Based on: PV
View point: Mitsu
Summary: After having a fight with Nishi, Mitsu stumbles into the middle of a crime...
At that moment I hated him so much. I wanted to hit him and push him to the ground. I wanted to grab him and throw him out the door. I wanted to run at him and shove him out of my life. But more than all of that I wanted him to feel how much he hurt me. I wanted to swap our emotions, only for a second, just so he knew the pain he caused me.
But I didn’t do any of those things. I just stared at him, his normally sleek and shiny hair seemed flat and dull, his smooth skin looked white and pasty and his soft, brown eyes were full of fear and sorrow.
“I’m sorry…”
His whispering broke the silence between us. He was sorry. Yeah, ok, now everything was better, everything could go back to normal. Did he really not understand?
“You’re sorry?” I growled. “You’re sorry?”
More fear seemed to crawl into his eyes.
“I didn’t mean for…”
I snapped.
“Oh, oh, you didn’t mean it to happen. You didn’t want it to happen. So what; you didn’t mean to go back to his apartment? You didn’t mean to fall into his bed? You didn’t mean to let him screw you?!”
His head sank to the floor. I didn’t need to see the tears to know that they were falling. I knew what I said had hurt him. At the time that was what I wanted to do; hurt him, make him feel the pain he caused me. But when I saw a single tear fall from his face and crash to the floor I knew I didn’t want to hurt him.
I collapsed onto the sofa. He remained sat on the bed, unmoving, waiting for the next barrage of insults. But I couldn’t do it anymore. I buried my face in my hands, trying to think calmly. But I couldn’t do that around him. I had to go…
Pulling myself together slightly, I stood up and grabbed a suitcase from under the bed. Opening the nearest drawer I lifted whatever I saw and dumped it in. He’d looked up now, his eyes full of panic.
“What are you doing?” he asked, alarmed.
“I can’t stay here,” I told him. “Not with you.”
Snatching whatever I could see, I piled a few more things into the case and snapped it shut. He stood up now, trying to stop me.
“No, wait, please!” he begged.
I couldn’t even look him in the eye as I pushed him aside and opened the door of the apartment we shared.
“Mitsu!”
He was slumped on the floor, tears streaming down his cheeks. I almost stopped there and then. Was this really worth it? Surely we could work past it? It was only sex after all. When he spoke I could hear the sadness in his voice.
“Please,” he mumbled. “I love you…”
“I know.”
I heard the door click shut behind me. I didn’t even look back as I rushed down the stairs. I was leaving behind my whole life; my home, my memories, my love… But it didn’t matter; I just had to get away.
The cool winter air was welcome as I pushed open the heavy doors of the building. Without even pausing, scrambled down the steps and hailed the first cab I saw. As it pulled up I wondered if I was making the right decision. The thought left my head instantly as I heard the doors of the building open behind me. Throwing my case into the backseat, I climbed in without a glance back. No sooner had I closed the door then he was there. He was banging on the window, begging me to come back.
“Where to?” the driver asked, seemingly prepared to ignore the disturbance outside.
“Anywhere,” I said emotionlessly. “Just away from here.”
As the cab pulled away, I looked at him one last time. I thought that he’d given up; he looked so sad and pathetic. But I knew in my heart I still loved him.
The drive was a blur after that. I’m not even sure where the driver took me. After a while he just stopped and let me out. Trying to get my bearings I noticed a subway beside a small café. I thought to myself I should get on the next train to a friend’s house or maybe even to my sister’s place. I’d taken two steps when I realised I had no money. Looking around I noticed a bank on the other side of the street.
‘Go to the ATM, get money and leave,” I told myself. ‘Just get the money and go.’
Again I’d only taken a few steps when I caught sight of a couple sitting in the café. The girl had been crying, I could see the puffiness in her eyes. The man was hugging her, stroking her hair, telling her it’d be alright.
We were like that once. We used to sit on the roof of our building, looking over the side at the tiny people below. We lived in our own world where no one could hurt us or judge us, where we’d never feel pain or sorrow, where we’d always be happy…
‘What am I doing?’
The thought rung in my head. I loved him, why was I leaving? We could get through this, I knew we could. I’d done many stupid things in my time and he had forgiven me but he makes one mistake and I run away just to punish him? I had to go back.
The doors of the bank burst open. Screaming and shouting came from inside.
BANG! BANG!
A man and a woman had come out of the bank carrying large sacks in one hand and guns in the other.
I stood frozen to the spot. They were running away from me, towards the other end of the street, or at least they were until:
“FREEZE!”
I hadn’t noticed the cop before. He’d emerged from the café with a cup of coffee when the bank robbers had revealed themselves. Upon hearing the shots he’d drawn his own weapon and pointed it at the thieves.
I saw the man look back at the police officer behind me. Without hesitation he fired three times before clambering into a car with his accomplice. The officer rushed by me in pursuit, knocking the suitcase from my hand. As it crashed to the ground, I followed.
Pain seared through my chest. The bullet had found a target. I felt blood trickle between my fingers as I clutched my chest. People had begun to gather around me, their faces lost to a haze of color. I vaguely heard someone shouting about an ambulance as the light began to fade.
‘This can’t be it,’ I thought. ‘I have to go back. I have to see him.’
Someone was talking to me. Their voice was just a sound, a dull hum that made no sense.
‘I need to get back. I love him.’
I was being moved. Someone was trying to help me.
‘I need to tell him. I forgive him.’
Everything around me felt cold. The light was fading more now.
‘Nishi, I love you…’
Then, nothing…
TO BE CONTINUED…
Title: Love song
Based on: PV
View point: Mitsu
Summary: After having a fight with Nishi, Mitsu stumbles into the middle of a crime...
At that moment I hated him so much. I wanted to hit him and push him to the ground. I wanted to grab him and throw him out the door. I wanted to run at him and shove him out of my life. But more than all of that I wanted him to feel how much he hurt me. I wanted to swap our emotions, only for a second, just so he knew the pain he caused me.
But I didn’t do any of those things. I just stared at him, his normally sleek and shiny hair seemed flat and dull, his smooth skin looked white and pasty and his soft, brown eyes were full of fear and sorrow.
“I’m sorry…”
His whispering broke the silence between us. He was sorry. Yeah, ok, now everything was better, everything could go back to normal. Did he really not understand?
“You’re sorry?” I growled. “You’re sorry?”
More fear seemed to crawl into his eyes.
“I didn’t mean for…”
I snapped.
“Oh, oh, you didn’t mean it to happen. You didn’t want it to happen. So what; you didn’t mean to go back to his apartment? You didn’t mean to fall into his bed? You didn’t mean to let him screw you?!”
His head sank to the floor. I didn’t need to see the tears to know that they were falling. I knew what I said had hurt him. At the time that was what I wanted to do; hurt him, make him feel the pain he caused me. But when I saw a single tear fall from his face and crash to the floor I knew I didn’t want to hurt him.
I collapsed onto the sofa. He remained sat on the bed, unmoving, waiting for the next barrage of insults. But I couldn’t do it anymore. I buried my face in my hands, trying to think calmly. But I couldn’t do that around him. I had to go…
Pulling myself together slightly, I stood up and grabbed a suitcase from under the bed. Opening the nearest drawer I lifted whatever I saw and dumped it in. He’d looked up now, his eyes full of panic.
“What are you doing?” he asked, alarmed.
“I can’t stay here,” I told him. “Not with you.”
Snatching whatever I could see, I piled a few more things into the case and snapped it shut. He stood up now, trying to stop me.
“No, wait, please!” he begged.
I couldn’t even look him in the eye as I pushed him aside and opened the door of the apartment we shared.
“Mitsu!”
He was slumped on the floor, tears streaming down his cheeks. I almost stopped there and then. Was this really worth it? Surely we could work past it? It was only sex after all. When he spoke I could hear the sadness in his voice.
“Please,” he mumbled. “I love you…”
“I know.”
I heard the door click shut behind me. I didn’t even look back as I rushed down the stairs. I was leaving behind my whole life; my home, my memories, my love… But it didn’t matter; I just had to get away.
The cool winter air was welcome as I pushed open the heavy doors of the building. Without even pausing, scrambled down the steps and hailed the first cab I saw. As it pulled up I wondered if I was making the right decision. The thought left my head instantly as I heard the doors of the building open behind me. Throwing my case into the backseat, I climbed in without a glance back. No sooner had I closed the door then he was there. He was banging on the window, begging me to come back.
“Where to?” the driver asked, seemingly prepared to ignore the disturbance outside.
“Anywhere,” I said emotionlessly. “Just away from here.”
As the cab pulled away, I looked at him one last time. I thought that he’d given up; he looked so sad and pathetic. But I knew in my heart I still loved him.
The drive was a blur after that. I’m not even sure where the driver took me. After a while he just stopped and let me out. Trying to get my bearings I noticed a subway beside a small café. I thought to myself I should get on the next train to a friend’s house or maybe even to my sister’s place. I’d taken two steps when I realised I had no money. Looking around I noticed a bank on the other side of the street.
‘Go to the ATM, get money and leave,” I told myself. ‘Just get the money and go.’
Again I’d only taken a few steps when I caught sight of a couple sitting in the café. The girl had been crying, I could see the puffiness in her eyes. The man was hugging her, stroking her hair, telling her it’d be alright.
We were like that once. We used to sit on the roof of our building, looking over the side at the tiny people below. We lived in our own world where no one could hurt us or judge us, where we’d never feel pain or sorrow, where we’d always be happy…
‘What am I doing?’
The thought rung in my head. I loved him, why was I leaving? We could get through this, I knew we could. I’d done many stupid things in my time and he had forgiven me but he makes one mistake and I run away just to punish him? I had to go back.
The doors of the bank burst open. Screaming and shouting came from inside.
BANG! BANG!
A man and a woman had come out of the bank carrying large sacks in one hand and guns in the other.
I stood frozen to the spot. They were running away from me, towards the other end of the street, or at least they were until:
“FREEZE!”
I hadn’t noticed the cop before. He’d emerged from the café with a cup of coffee when the bank robbers had revealed themselves. Upon hearing the shots he’d drawn his own weapon and pointed it at the thieves.
I saw the man look back at the police officer behind me. Without hesitation he fired three times before clambering into a car with his accomplice. The officer rushed by me in pursuit, knocking the suitcase from my hand. As it crashed to the ground, I followed.
Pain seared through my chest. The bullet had found a target. I felt blood trickle between my fingers as I clutched my chest. People had begun to gather around me, their faces lost to a haze of color. I vaguely heard someone shouting about an ambulance as the light began to fade.
‘This can’t be it,’ I thought. ‘I have to go back. I have to see him.’
Someone was talking to me. Their voice was just a sound, a dull hum that made no sense.
‘I need to get back. I love him.’
I was being moved. Someone was trying to help me.
‘I need to tell him. I forgive him.’
Everything around me felt cold. The light was fading more now.
‘Nishi, I love you…’
Then, nothing…
TO BE CONTINUED…
